Comments on: Chinese Bars, Karaoke in China, Nightlife in China

By: Bobby Brill

Bobby Brill — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 08:43:48 +0000

“Xiao Jie” is certainly okay depending where you are - Beijing it certainly leans more toward prostitute or companion and (foo-yen) is preferred. I lived in Guangzhou for two years and the local staff of my office told me to use “xiao jie” if I wanted to speak Mandarin, in Cantonese, the predominant language of that province it was another term i learned - and got me better service for sure. I think the scowl you got was more from the waitress sick and tired of being called - a waitress in China can be treated pretty poorly or at least called relentlessly, and for no tips.

China is practically impossible to lock down to a single set of etiquette. Anyone who has lived here - going on 3 years form with a Chinese fiance as well - will find what the guide books say works for about the time of your vacation, thats it. Living here and working here is a very different story. Working a “real job” or English teaching or pursuing a larger creative endeavor will net three very different outlooks.

Everything someone has told to do, say, or act has proven to be true and then very soon been proven to be false - that is the only thing you can really count on in China, confusion - so enjoy it.

By: Robert Thompson

Robert Thompson — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 08:14:33 +0000

Which city are you from?

By: yoyo

yoyo — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 08:09:56 +0000

I live in China all my life and yes I am Chinese. Xiao jie is appropriate way of calling them. We use Xiao jie all our lives whereever in China we go. It actually more polite than the other one. Trust me.. if they are mad because you called them xiao jie, its not because of that, it might be a nother reason.

By: zhe

zhe — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 19:26:55 +0000

A few years back xiao-jie would be fine, but now it’s meaning is leaning towards an escort girl, but it all depends on how the person takes it

By: Robert Thompson

Robert Thompson — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 20:06:03 +0000

It may be something that is in a transitional phase right now. Sort of like how Americans went from saying secretary to admin assistant, or stewardess to flight attendant.

While “xiao jie” may still be accepted socially, many of my friends have advised against it. Fu-wu-yuan (which sounds like “foo-yen”) is a much more polite way to address someone in a restaurant.

In my first week in China, in Dali, (following the advise of my Lonely Planet book) I addressed a waiter with “xiao jie” and she immediately spun around scowled at me. (Whoops.)

By: Jon

Jon — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 17:20:07 +0000

Having lived in 3 different cities (Nanjing, Xuzhou, and now Xiamen) for over 2 years, I’ve never had any problems nor heard anyone warn against using xiao jie. They all seem to be fine with it here. Maybe it’s a regional thing.

By: Chinese Table Etiquette: Important Tips, What to Say, Paying the Bill at Still Point

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 13:21:24 +0000

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