So I was like, I need some socks. Chun Mei was like, No thing Bob, let’s go down to the mini-store downstairs and get you some! Boom, they have the new Adidas soc… Hold up a second, WTF is that?
Someone obviously fell asleep in while studying their (pirated copy of the) Photoshop manual, because that’s a Nike logo! You can’t use a Nike logo with the Adidas URl you frigtard, that totally gives it away!
While I was at it, my Calvin Klein’s were getting a little stale. Time for some new underwear. So I went out to a farmer’s market and guess what, they have this new shit in China called fireproof underwear. And you can stretch these babies with a mini hoola-hoop and they’re not even trippin! Ring me up.
I’m with this idea — house fire or no fire, always project your junk.
Anyway I don’t know about you, but the latest technological advancements in sleepwear always makes me hungry. Doritos, nah. Pepsi Cola? Pass. Shrink-wrapped chicken feet? Hell. Yes. That is exactly what I’m talking about.
This next one falls under the “There-Has-Got-to-Be-an-Explanation-For-This” Category. I needed some toothpaste, and I said, Hey Man, you got Crest?, and the clerk was like, No, but we have Black People Toothpaste, and I was like, WTF??, and they were like, yeah, Black People Tooth Paste, and I looked down at my arm, then back at her and said, Look I just need Crest, you know, WASH TEETH, and she said, Follow me.. Guess what:
She wasn’t joking. Now upon closer inspection, in English it’s all innocent and says Darlie. But the secret is revealed in the Chinese characters!
- Characters: ????
- Pinyin: hei ren ya gao
- Pronounced: “hey ren ya gow”
- Literally: “Black People Toothpaste”
If there are any Chinese people reading this blog, please, WTF is up with Black People Toothpaste? (Update: Whoa, this guy has all the details here! - I want to write him an email but guess what, China blocks Blogger.. DoH! Update 2: See the original “Darkie” box here )
My prediction: Beijing Olympics 2008 and the world sees the racist box! They report on it, global coverage, front page of CNN. Said company goes out and buys 100 boxes of fireproof underwear, yells ‘holy shit’ and comes up with a clever explanation about why ‘they didn’t know’ it was racist. Mark my words, Bob said it first, March 2007.
Why use WD-40 when you can get 20 more with AD-60?
Adidaz, only 5 RMB. Who cares if only five of the letters are right, it almost the same, it’s called “having face” bro (get some), I got the latest Adidaz and you don’t, case closed.
All pictures snapped with my top-of-the-line phone camera which is three years old now.
Hilarious, Bobby. I’d be laughing harder if I didn’t think I’d wake up my napping kid.
I died , man…That was soooo funny. Trust my white brother to find something on the black man. hihihihi
oooh and by the way, the haitian-nation love them chicken feet…don’t diss it if you can’t kick it!
The “black people tooth paste” is what happens when Dixies try to sell stuffs in China in the old days. “Darlie” used to be “Darkie”, a southern slur for black people. It’s now a Colgate Palmolive brand, but they didn’t bother to change the logo. I guess black people are considered somewhat exotic in China, so this is not really derogatory.
“Exotic” is such an interesting word. I guess when you say “exotic”, you mean that “they are pointed out where ever they are, in which ever city”? (”Oh, look! A black person!”) How many conversations have I had with my new Chinese friends about how that isn’t appropriate, to say the least.
In terms of labeling people, (ie, I’m not a person, or even an artist, I’m a “lao wai” or “waiguoren”) — the Chinese have a long way to go, and they seem to not know it.
Just recently a hotel manager (totally out of the blue, as we were inquiring about the lack of amenities at their hotel) blurted out to my wife, “Don’t think you’re lucky because you married an American!”. We were stunned that she would even think that, as we were only asking about the hotel. Again, more labels, more status, more “face” — it is tiring after a while.