Archive for March, 2007

Cosmic Crusader: The Answer is Yes

March 27, 2007

Note: Use at your own risk (but it works for me)

My brother asked me this question over two years ago. Tech support has arrived.

Question:

I wish I had a computer slow enough to run [Cosmic Crusader]. Anyone know how to slow down a P4 so this game will run? And where I can get a joystick?

Answer:

1. Download Dos Box (a fully functional Dos emulator that runs on your Mac or PC)

2. On a Mac, unzip it, then double-click the DMG, then drag the ‘DOSBox’ application to your Apps folder

3. Whoops! Their site is mysteriously down. Google ‘cosmic-crusader’ and find the Zip

4. Create a directory called games here: Users / You / games

directory.jpg

5. Unzip Cosmic Crusader in this directory

5. Double Click DOSBox

dos.gif

6. Type: mount c ~/games in the DOS prompt

7. Type c:

8. Type dir

9. Execute the game

10. To Slow down the game, type CTRL-F11 (not the Apple key, the CTRL key, on Laptops you need to hit FN-CTRL-F11)

Boom, you’re all good to go, with pre-Sound Blaster sound effects and stunning 1982 CGA graphics.

Screenshots (click to enlarge):

Cosmic Crusader
doh.gif

LodeRunr
loderunr.gif

Police Quest 1
policequest1.gif

Alley Cat
allycay.gif

Bouncing Babies (Waves as levels, and check out the skeletor head on that baby)
baby.jpg

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Tags: Tutorials General 1 Comment

First Twitter Reference to the Water Buffalo Movie

March 27, 2007

http://twitter.com/acdha

I got my Twitter account (jazzviolin… why jazzviolin, I dunno, I’ve been using that name for 10 years). Now. If only Twitter didn’t take 2 minutes to load from China, I might actually start using it.

Tags: the Water Buffalo 0 Comments

In Relation To… Where is Chuxiong?

March 26, 2007

chuxiong-china.jpg

I get asked where I live a lot. People don’t seem to realize that Chuxiong is a major player in the international scene. Okay it’s not at all, it’s a small, relatively poor Chinese city really far away from the rest of those good Chinese cities. Chuxiong can only look at it’s thriving neighboring cities (Kunming, Dali, Lijiang) and be jealous, because there this nothing to do here except “san bu”.

Here’s a little comparison (via Google Earth):
MI
KM
Chuxiong
0
0
Kunming
79
127
Laos
173
278
Vietnam
180
290
Myanmar
206
332
Shangri-La
240
386
Tibet
297
478
India
787
1,267
Hong Kong
791
1,273
Beijing
1,340
2,157
Tokyo
2,391
3,848
Paris
5,390
8,674
San Francisco
7,217
11,615
Boston
7,777
12,516
Tags: China Chuxiong 2 Comments

Ring Me Up

March 25, 2007

So I was like, I need some socks. Chun Mei was like, No thing Bob, let’s go down to the mini-store downstairs and get you some! Boom, they have the new Adidas soc… Hold up a second, WTF is that?

adidas.jpg

Someone obviously fell asleep in while studying their (pirated copy of the) Photoshop manual, because that’s a Nike logo! You can’t use a Nike logo with the Adidas URl you frigtard, that totally gives it away!

While I was at it, my Calvin Klein’s were getting a little stale. Time for some new underwear. So I went out to a farmer’s market and guess what, they have this new shit in China called fireproof underwear. And you can stretch these babies with a mini hoola-hoop and they’re not even trippin! Ring me up.

underwear.jpg

I’m with this idea — house fire or no fire, always project your junk.

Anyway I don’t know about you, but the latest technological advancements in sleepwear always makes me hungry. Doritos, nah. Pepsi Cola? Pass. Shrink-wrapped chicken feet? Hell. Yes. That is exactly what I’m talking about.

chickenfeet.jpg

This next one falls under the “There-Has-Got-to-Be-an-Explanation-For-This” Category. I needed some toothpaste, and I said, Hey Man, you got Crest?, and the clerk was like, No, but we have Black People Toothpaste, and I was like, WTF??, and they were like, yeah, Black People Tooth Paste, and I looked down at my arm, then back at her and said, Look I just need Crest, you know, WASH TEETH, and she said, Follow me.. Guess what:

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Tags: Blah China 5 Comments

The Joys of Living in China, Part I

March 25, 2007

DDG-12 Standard Missile Launch.jpg

Or perhaps living in a new house, where your neighbor’s house is connected to your house. Via six or so inches of brick.

After going to sleep at 6:30 am, I got to wake up (at 10 am) to what sounded like Tomahawk missiles being launched from the USS Enterprise. Or perhaps, them landing somewhere.

In reality, it is a construction worker with a huge sledge hammer, slamming it into the wall against my head.

It kinda sounds like this.

Good morning!

Update: Lucky for me, this is going to go on for three months. (Time to move back to the Kunming place.)

Tags: Chuxiong House China 0 Comments

Food!

March 25, 2007

website1.jpg

I just built this web site. I got hungry watching all those photos while I put the site together. It’s the first catering site I’ve ever done.

Also, it is the first time I used SlideShowPro. I highly, highly recommend it for online Flash galleries. It can be customized any way you want, and who ever wrote it thought about every single detail — real designers over there.

My brother Tom took all the food shots - aren’t they great?

Tags: Internet 0 Comments

Forward Delivery Housing, Continued

March 21, 2007

Update: I have seen two more shows on CCTV 2 about people getting screwed after purchasing a house before it is built. In the last two days I saw stories about the “new middle/upper class” in Yunnan and Sichuan losing their entire investment, and they have no one to turn to for help. The shows are overly dramatic with sappy soundtracks, which to me seems inappropriate for such a topic. (Is it a news story, or is it a drama to sell ads?)

It is still odd to me why a homeowner’s only option with such a serious crime is to contact the state-run television network to get answers. Obviously, the idea is, they run a show on fraud, millions of people see it, then the fraudulent company is pressured into fixing the problem. (Doesn’t it seem like if you started a property/construction company and built faulty houses, you should go to jail? Or at least get hit with a huge lawsuit? Who is accountable? Are these companies in cahoots with the government? The questions — the questions I have in my head…)

Wow, it doesn’t stop
Here are some of the details from yet another show on housing fraud:

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Tags: Blah China 2 Comments
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