Still Point

Just imagine, you’re 15 years old, sitting in Driver’s Ed, you have your #2 pencil ready and your spiral notebook on the desk. You’re day dreaming of all your friends you’re going to give free rides to. In walks the instructor and he says, “It’s a free for all. There are no rules. Good luck. You all pass.”

The funny thing is, you see these “training” cars that are decorated with cautionary red and white stripes ALL over Chu Xiong. People are constantly learning and studying! I took the damn test, I know it wasn’t easy, so, what is happening on the roads of China?

Here are some of the new rules I’ve recently learned:

1. If you want to stop for a red at night, you can, but you don’t have to.
2. You can run a red at anytime, as long as you’re turning right.
3. There are no directions for streets, even if it’s a oneway (watch out for the three-wheeled motor-cart thing coming straight at you, or the people walking in the middle of the street, or the bicycles popping out of no where, or the other cars slowly but surely cutting you off…)
4. Jaywalking? What the hell is that? If you need to get to the other side brother, you just go ahead (especially on the interstate with the baby on your back)
5. There are no speed limits.
6. You only need liability insurance. Why waste all that extra money protecting your car, just the bare minimun on whoever you hit.
7. Cars have the right of way, no matter what. Little girl carrying her little baby on her back? BEEEEEP, get the f*** out of my way I’m first.
8. Always drive in 5th gear. Don’t care how fast you’re going, get it in 5th as soon as possible.
9. Any illegal U in is States is cool here, double yellow, whatever…
10. Park it anywhere, in the middle of a crosswalk, in the bike lane…
11. Turn the lights on as late as humanly possible so to avoid “wasting” any gas.
12. You can beep at the police to get out of your way.

I will make a video because I know you don’t believe me. It took me about three days to “learn” how to drive in Chu Xiong.

|bob|